Steel Panther - On The Prowl
By Paul Chesworth
Amongst the rock fraternity, no one divides the rock fans more than Steel Panther. Oh, and Nickleback. Although one website who clearly know fuck all about rock and metal have named Sabbaths Heaven and Hell as an example.
There are some people out there who think that Steel Panther are a parody band and shouldn’t exist. These people are WRONG! The other half, like me, think that Steel Panther are coming up with some of the best riffs and songs this side of Tony Iommi’s moustache. Dont get me wrong, these guys can do comedy, and take it to another level, but my learned friend, I would also like to submit Exhibit A (Tomorrow Night), Exhibit B (Gloryhole), Exhibit C (Gold Digging Whore) and my latest Exhibit, Exhibit D, the new (Friends With Benefits) as songs that are just as good, if not better than a lot of glam/sleaze/hair metal bands produced in the heyday of the 80s and early 90s. Parody my arse!
I wasn’t overly enamoured with the last two albums ‘Heavy Metal Rules’, and ‘Lower The Bar’. Thankfully the guys have used lockdown as the perfect opportunity to get their act in order and snorted their weight in nose candy and have come back in glorious style with ‘On The Prowl’. Apparently they all worked from home, and it has paid dividends.
The nucleus is still there - Michael Starr, Stix Zadinia, and Satchel. If you have been living in a case for the last few years, Lexxi has gone, and after a porno version of American Idol and a few temporary solutions, the guys announced Spyder into the fold in September 2022.
In today's cancel culture where you tread on eggshells on what you can say without offending anyone, Steel Panther come right out of the blocks and set their stall with ‘Never Too Late (To Get Some Pussy Tonight). In an uncertain World its good to know that some things stay the same. ‘Friends With Benefits’ is the first cut above track. It has LAs Sunset Strip threaded through it like a stick of rock with Satchel delving deep into his bag of 80s riffs. They go mushy with the social media ballad ‘On Your Instagram’, ‘why can’t you look like you do on your Instagram’ telling you everything you need to know in a simple rhyme about todays state of affairs. ‘1987’ is another stand out track with Starr proclaiming ‘Coverdale banging Tawny Kitaen and the World just felt alright’, and ‘the music scene will never be the same, but I didn’t realise that things would get this lame’. Its one of the best songs they have ever written. Thankfully we have Steel Panther on a one man (band) mission to rectify all that was great about the 80s and then some.
If you think that the song titles are a bit ‘normal’, they revert to type (Yay!) with Dweezil Zappa sining up to shred on ‘Is My D**k Enough’, and the wonderfully titled ‘Magical Vagina’, I’d like to know what a magical vagina does? Card tricks? Levitation? Pull a tiger out?
’Pornstar’ is a song that only Steel Panther could write, AND get away with. ‘If Harvey Weinstein was still free he wouldn’t care if you resisted’. Oof! ‘Aint For Dead’ is a biographical song about getting old and lamenting about times past, but they still have a part to play, and party.
‘On The Prowl’ is an album that gets Steel Panther back on track after the last couple of ‘Panther by Numbers’ albums. Theres nowt wrong with music by numbers, but its back on a par with early Steel Panther music when they were on fire (and I’m not talking about Michael Starrs chlamydia!!)
If you love Steel Panther then this is everything you want from a new SP album. If you are a naysayer then there’s nothing here for you whatsoever, and I don’t think the guys give a flying fuck either way. In an uncertain world, its good that some things never change. All hail Steel Panther.
Never Too Late (To Get Some Pussy Tonight)
Friends With Benefits
On Your Instagram
Put My Money Where Your Mouth Is
Is My Dick Enough (Featuring Dweezil Zappa)
All That And More
One Pump Chump
Ain’t Dead Yet
Sleeping On The Rollaway
Michael Starr - Vocals
Satchel - Guitar
Stix Zadinia - Drums
Spyder - Bass